MY 100 MILE JOURNEY TO FREEDOM
Perhaps it’s a bit premature for me to write about the journey that has not even begun, let alone finished, but I felt it was only natural to share the progression and how I arrived at the decision to enter this 100-mile run in the Karkloof.
I am well-acquainted with this event, as I am with taking risks; after all, no risk, no reward. Many of the extreme events I’ve entered and completed, sometimes even won, were on impulse rather than the result of rational deliberation. And I’m thankful for that, because if I were to list the pros and cons of every decision I had to make when it comes to running, I would find myself in a very dark place.
This decision stemmed from a deep need for self-discovery. Faced with the news of my husband seeking a divorce, I was at a crossroads: wallow in a pit of despair and self-pity, questioning why life couldn’t just ease up, or take flight and run for my life. I contemplated tackling the Karkloof 100-miler, but after a year marred by illness and disrupted training, I considered the 50-miler instead. A week after the bombshell, I took the plunge and signed up for the 100-mile event. Ready or not, here I come.
As the week approached, the weather reports grew increasingly dismal, forecasting continuous snow and rain—conditions I find most challenging for running as I struggle with the cold. Yet, instead of feeling victimized, I considered that perhaps the weather was a challenge meant to push me out of my comfort zone because it is in discomfort that I discover my true self. And perhaps, this is what life is signaling to us. It’s often easier to remain comfortable, to avoid pushing oneself, or to stay within the familiarity of a marriage or known circumstances, but there is no growth in stagnation. As William Burroughs said, “When you stop growing, you start dying.”
I’m anxious about the race starting at 20:00 (SAST) on Friday, 20th September 2024, yet I’ve done everything possible to prepare. My mom, dad, son, and best friends will be there, along with fellow runners each battling their own challenges, and the reassuring whispers from God telling me it will be okay and to just keep faith. Those whispers come to me when I’m frightened, angry, sad, or in desperate need of truth and validation. I don’t find those answers in a bar, a bottle, or the material indulgences we often seek as humans.
As I look forward to writing next week’s Newsletter, I hope to do so with a silver buckle in hand and the satisfying ache of well-used feet and legs, a warmth emanating from deep within my soul. The next 48 hours are a mystery, but my faith is unwavering that they will bring exactly what I need. After all, my higher power has never failed me before, so there’s no reason to doubt it will now.
