The woman behind the smile
From fear to freedom: Breaking free from life’s self-imposed chains
Lately It has felt as though fear has been challenging me more so than ever before, not the fear of doing something extreme but more so the fear of not knowing, the fear of that I cannot control and the fear of failure. To the point that its taken me nearly 7 months to write a blog post… That’s when I came across this quote featured on James Clears weekly newsletter:
Haruki Murakami on how our challenges shape us:
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Source: Kafka on the Shore
Funny enough, I wrote an Instagram post this week on something quite similar. The heading: Fear vs Truth
The carefully curated photos paint a picture of a confident, well-rounded woman with a seemingly perfect life. But behind this facade, a complex reality unfolds. I grapple with self-doubt, questioning my abilities as a mother, wife, runner, coach, and even as a simply “good woman.” This inner turmoil casts a long shadow, as a snowballing effect propels me into a relentless cycle of dwelling on missed opportunities. It’s a haunting spectre that plagues many, leading to golden years filled with wistful “what ifs” and a yearning for a life brimming with adventure and passion.
Slowly, a chilling truth emerges: fear is the architect of this self-imposed prison. The allure of safety often eclipses the pursuit of dreams, constructing a towering monument of regret. Yet, inspiration flickers in the lives of those around me, who’ve traded complacency for courage. Their journeys illuminate a path forward, a path that demands boldness.
• So, the first tip to avoid regret: ask for what you want. It might sound simple, but for many, it’s terrifying. However, unless you ask, you’ll never know what’s possible.
• The second tip, trust yourself and your abilities. The first time I decided to run 100 miles I had more people telling me that it wasn’t a good idea and that I am too extreme, if I listened to them I wouldn’t have the running CV I do. I then had people telling me not to do DGT (Drakensburg Grand Traverse), again if I had listened then I wouldn’t have experienced a life changing event. The I had people telling me I shouldn’t become a coach , I shouldn’t run Comrades, I am not a strict enough mother, I’m too “all over the show”. I mean the list is endless and it’s easy to get caught up the negativity and to start believing that you are pretty damn useless but I had to figure out what was true and what was fear based.
Listen; no one is perfect and there is a lot of things about me that I need to fix, change and work on a daily basis. Accepting your faults and defects is the first step to becoming a better version of yourself. So I’m not exempt from mistakes and perhaps there have been races or events I shouldn’t have done but I’m slowly starting to learn to trust myself and distinguish between fear and truth.
Are you a prisoner of potential or a champion of change? Every time hesitation shackles your spirit, ask yourself: Is fear your jailer, or are you the architect of your destiny?
