The Story We Already Wrote: On Starting Over and Stepping Up
Sitting on the sidelines watching Leo play soccer the past weekend, surrounded by the usual weekend noise, I found myself quietly laughing. My dad was sitting next to me. He looked over, puzzled and asked what was so funny.
I turned to him and said, “Do you remember two years ago? When I was just utterly devastated after the divorce?”
He nodded. Back then, when my path had shattered and I was standing in the rubble, he told me something I couldn’t comprehend. He promised me, “One day, you’re going to be grateful for this.” At the time, I thought he was crazy. I couldn’t see how a world cracking wide open was something to ever be thankful for. But sitting on that grass, watching my sixteen-year-old run down the field, it hit me with absolute clarity: my dad was right.
We started talking about how life unfolds, and he shared his philosophy. He believes we are all handed our cards for a reason. In his eyes, our stories are already written, agreed upon with God long before we ever arrive on Earth. Our only real job is to fulfill them. It won’t dictate the exact, granular details, like how many cups of coffee you’ll drink today or how many holidays you’ll take but the grand scheme is already stitched into your soul. You just have to have the courage to take the right steps, as terrifying as they can be.
Stepping Into the Next Chapter
Over these last two years, so much has changed. I wouldn’t trade any of it. That season of desolation was the exact training ground I needed for the season I am in now. The grit and resilience forged in those quiet, dark moments have become the foundation for this exciting new professional chapter. As I step into something new, I realize that these opportunities, things I once thought were completely out of my reach, required a braver version of me. A version that had to be tested in order to step up and lead with both control and compassion.
I’m not sharing this to boast or offer a polished highlight version. I’m writing this because I know what it feels like to be in the middle of the devastation, unable to see the finish line. I also know what it’s like to feel real, valid anger. But one of the greatest lessons of this season has been the surprising arrival of gratitude, not just for the smooth path, but for the obstacles.
Grateful, Even for the Pain
It sounds almost impossible to say, but I have found myself feeling incredibly grateful for the very experiences and yes, even the people, I was once so deeply angry with. It wasn’t a quick shift and the anger was a necessary part of my healing. But with time and this new perspective, I see that those very challenges were the catalysts. Those who hurt me, intentionally or not, were players in the grand scheme my Baba (dad) talked about. They forced me to ask for more, to stand taller and to cultivate a depth of strength I never would have found on my own. It is a profound realization that I can be thankful for the difficult relationships and obstacles because they were the fires that refined the woman, mother and leader I am today.
If you are in that dark place right now, feeling untethered and perhaps deeply hurt, keep taking those scary steps. The courage you are building today is preparing you for the rooms you are going to walk into tomorrow.
You only grow through what you go through.
Keep going, Jo
